Monday, May 18, 2009

ATTN: RICKY TIMS: Stuff Held For Ransom

Dear Mr. Ricky Tims,

This is a note of property being held captive in Iowa. No items will be injured if you cooperate with us.

On May 9, you departed Cedar Rapids, Iowa. In your departure, you left some precious belongings at Pine Needles Sewing Center in an effort to lighten up luggage for return-travel to Colorado. (Please inventory items in photograph. Garments not photographed out of respect for privacy. Ummm....errr....I mean we are taking turns determining if there is a staff member who will fit the silver belt buckle.)

•Two quilts...Kool Kaleidoscope #8 and Rhapsody
•One pair of stylish boots of a cowboy-artist
•Various articles of clothing
Items will be returned upon a return visit to Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Means of conveyance: Harley motorcycle (odometer read is currently less than 300 miles....time to put miles on that baby). Your cooperation with this endeavor to reunite you with your precious belongings is appreciated.

(If you want to see close up images to replicate Ricky Tims' work, be sure you click on any of the images in this email to see Ricky's work and his music on our web site.)

However, after further investigation of the condition of the quilts, it is noted that the sleeves on said quilts are in need of repair (note photograph). Should Mr. Tims not be willing to exhibit better care (than safety pins) for quilt sleeves, we (the holders of the quilts) reserve the right to not return the quilts lest they fall into such a state of "sleeved-by-safety-pin." Upon receipt of ransom coverage, Mr. Tims would have to issue and affidavit of promise to maintain better care of quilt sleeves. Although, it IS noteworthy that such care is given the sleeves as to make the sleeves of hand-dyed fabrics (nice touch!).

Upon return visit to Iowa, along with reuniting you with your belongings, we will be sharing with you the fruits of our incredible creative journey with you at the concert and classes held on May 8-9 in Cedar Rapids, Iowa as the guest of the Sew Inspired Team at Pine Needles Sewing Center.

Most Respectfully, Your Friends at Pine Needles Sewing Center

P.S. To further assist Ricky on this venture to have his quilt returned, submit your response with information for Ricky to read about his publications or his visit to Iowa in the COMMENT section at the end of the email. This may assist Ricky in determining if he will return to Iowa.
P.S.S. this is a hoax. (The request for comments for Ricky to this email is NOT a hoax.) While it is true Ricky Tims left belongings with us at the store, we have respectfuly returned them to him as he requested our assistance in lightening his travel load. Imagine our surprise (and delight) that he left us to study and enjoy his quilts for a bit longer after his departure.
P.S.S. Thanks every so much Mr. Ricky Tims for gracing us in Iowa with your visit. We truly do hope that you consider coming back and teaching us more at some time. See you in Colorado soon to enjoy the lovely landscape you have shared with us in photography, song and stitch!

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